Who is he?A railroad track toward hell?Breaking like a stick of furniture?The hope that suddenly overflows the cesspool?The love that goes down the drain like spit?The love that said forever, foreverand then runs you over like a truck?Are you a prayer that floats into a radio advertisement?Despair,I don't like you very well.You don't suit my clothes or my cigarettes.Why do you locate hereas large as a tank,aiming at one half of a lifetime?Couldn't you just go float into a treeinstead of locating here at my roots,forcing me out of the life I've ledwhen it's been my belly so long?All right!I'll take you along on the tripwhere for so many yearsmy arms have been speechless

Suppressed rage I love anger I love the power it gives me the pure adrenaline rushing through me the clarity the air tasting sweeter den it should. The impact of my knuckles getting bruised against the wall serves as a shock through my senses. With every punch I feel more alive with every punch I lose a part of my humanity with every punch I slip closer to oblivion with every punch I become a fiend.
With every scream of agony I hear I get more excited your pain is my fuel that feeds upon itself growing thumping against my head. I lust to see you cringing in pain to see you hit the floor. Your tears are erotic the fear growing inside you engulfs me pushing seducing me your pain is my mistress. To see you break apart with every punch is my ecstasy.

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a thousand masks, masks that I am afraid to take off and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled. For God's sake don't be fooled. I give the impression that I am secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness my game; that the waters are calm and I am in command, and that I need no one. But don't believe me, please. My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing 'Neath this lies no complacence. Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, and aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed. That is why I frantically create a mask to hide behind; a nonchalant, sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only salvation. And I know it. That is, if it is followed by acceptance, if it is followed by love. It is the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I am worth something. But, I don't tell you this. I don't dare. I am afraid to. I am afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I am afraid you will think less of me, that you will laugh at me, and that you will see this and reject me. So I play my game, my desperate game, with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks, and my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, of what is crying within me; So when I am going through my routine do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. What I would like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but I can't say. I dislike hiding, Honestly! I dislike the superficial game I am playing, the phony game. I would really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me, but you have got to help me. You have got to hold out your hand, even when that is the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes that blank stare of breathing death. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you try to understand and because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding, you can breathe life into me. I want you to know that. I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be the creator of the person that is me if you choose to. Please choose to. You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask. You alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty; From my lonely person. Do not pass me by. Please . . . do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you; a long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I strike back. I fight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than walls, and in this lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive. Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.

hmm it has been awhile since i was up at 3am on a sch night do nothing but reminiscing about how screwed up i have been in the past years in school.and how i wasted my life when i only have one.i am going to burst that nut of yours!!

who the fuck is your friend?the man standing beside you?the faggot whom you call when you are in need?the bastard you call out to drink?wait...does it fucking matter in the first place?well who really fucking cares?Does it matter that the piece of crap you were bitching about just now ,you call a friend?wait who really gives a fuck anyway? aren't friends shit you use and later throw away and flush it down the toilet and hopes it doesn't bobble back up?oh wait i totally forgot about loyalty oh yeah wait loyalty is definitely not in the vocabulary in all you nimwits not because of your limited vocabulary but because you don't fucking believe in it it just faded away from your dictionary.why don't you just fucking manipulate your way to where you wanna go?you fucking dumbfucks go fuck the bitches that believe you are genuinely their friend wait an advice for you disease ridden pricks becareful that fucking idiot is actually manipulating you instead.

Everyone is entitled to their own ideologies or whatever they want but honestly i hate it when they decide to make mine seem inferior and theirs superior.Who the fuck do they think they are?they are not omniscience for pete's sake they are in no position to degrade my ideas and my perspective and much less claim that they are in anyway superior .they DO NOT know what the fuck they are talking about much less know their supposed IDEAS .

(FUCK YOU SLUT HOLE I AM NOT A NEEDY SON OF A BITCH UNLIKE YOU. FUCK OFF I AM OFF LIMIT FOR YOU TO BLOG ABOUT BTW IT IS "KG USED TO BE" YOU PIECE OF RELIC MOVE ON!!)

i hate u ....i really i do ...why do u exist?just to be a pain and a threat to my existence??
How many of us ever felt like this before?how many of us really hate this person and want nothing more to destroy and utterly vapourise that SOB?but honestly have we ever really thought how wld we react if that bane is really gone?
will u celebrate?but have you thought that you are losing a part of urself as urself?many of us do not realise that it takes a lot to hate someone.emotional toll as well the physical toll.we must feel something for that person to begin with if not why wld we even bother to hate the person in the first place?
If we are so intwined with that person why do we bother to hate?why not love?the foundation has already been set.you both have emotions set for each other.the task is now merely to transform that negative energy to something positive.what merely holds us back is the sterotyping of ur enemy and that ur enemy will forever be ur enemy and that narrows downs our perspective of our "enemy". Hate is fundamentally not shallow it is not nurtured overnight infact it takes time to build up and this build up of emotions creates this sort of binding to you to ur foe.
most of us mistake rivals in competitions to be our enemies because of that need to win and when we don't we actually start to "dislike" the rival because of this competition.but remove this rivalry the negative feelings will naturally fade.
( THE ENDING IS FOR YOU )

When i woke up today and watch some cartoon on kids central or however you spell it something really hit me hard on the head.No it is not the comical villain being thrown out of the screen that struck me but rather the fact that evil never prevails and good will always triumph in the end.But is this really how reality works?
How many times over the news do we see court cases being thrown out due to lack of evidence or unsolved crimes with the culprits not caught and justice left unserved?We see countless of such things occuring time and time again yet we are still propagating our population that good does indeed triumph over evil.Is this delusion on our part?Or is society subconciously doing this so that whenever something bad happens we can have this novacaine of righteousness flood into our body blinding us from the searing truth? How does this in anyway help our society progress? Children grow up niave as they are being sheltered from the harsh reality and when the truth does indeed hit them it is twice as painful for they are definitely unprepared to face what is happening around them.
(There are countless protest on the censorship of flim violence citing reasons that the children will grow up more violent or some other nonsensical bullshit.But is that the focus of the main problem?It is usually the "good guys" who use this violence to triumph over their adversaries does not send the wrong message as well that so long you fight for "good" the ends justifies the means?)(off topic)
What i am trying to say here is that though we can try to protect those around us we will nt be able to protect them forever so instead of shielding them from the truth entirely shldn't we expose them to small doses of it like a vaccine and let them learn about the world they live in on their own?Instead of creating a supposed "answer" that backfires itself?

hmm on the way back from guitar class i saw this guy lying on the ground and his pants was half way down so yeah if you haven't guessed it his genitals was exposed.If that was not bad enough he was doing it in the middle of the central business district where tourists usually visit airing his hairy butt.Firstly it is fucking repulsive to see a full grown man drunk in mid afternoon.secondly it is so degrading, thinking about how he is damaging the reputation of singapore just serves to further infuriate me further.What the fuck was the guy thinking?It is people like that who nulls the effort and hardwork that the majority of singaporeans work so hard to mantain and build.
faggots like them don't deserve to fucking live on this planet!!

I was talking to chi jie during amaths lesson and somehow i was suddenly inclined to talk about morality.what is morality? can it be defined by the ability to do what is right or is it merely the ability to define what is supposedly right and wrong?but firstly who defines what is wrong and right to begin with?society?but society is always changing so how can we base what is moral on the standards set by s,ociety,this in itself is a fallacy?this can be proven when the nazis took over germany they set a society where it is right to deprive another human being of their right to live, the right of freedom,to commit murdere which to many of us is the bottom line.
Nonetheless another fallacy would be to say that conscience and moral is the same thing.though they share similar traits they are still different.(redundant ?)
so if we do know that morality can be nurtured how do we nurture somebody with moral?Should it done by the introduction of religion?But how can we say that religion creates moral?by the fact most "evil" regimes are anti religous?YES religion is good and infact fundamental to our social fabric.But nonetheless i doubt that it really creates people who are truly moral.For we all know about karma and that if we sin we go to hell and the whole works.However as soon as we remove such restrictions how many of us actually will continue to not sin?there are definitely many true believers but why do we believe?(another question for another day)
however i do believe the most crucial question is how do we actually create a society full of people with moral?By books or art?But didn't nazi leaders listen to mozart as well?Or to make a person with moral we merely leave him be with no influence from "evil" and "good" will he den be able to be moral?for all man are created moral?